I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Randomize
