Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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