you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
