So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
