I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
