can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize