I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
