I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
