I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
