i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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