Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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