You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
