suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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