She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Banned from zoo.
Again?
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Randomize
