No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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