is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
so let's talk penis.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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