I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
