areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize
