I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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