Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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