I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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