Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize