Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Randomize
