i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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