How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize