i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
