What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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