i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Randomize
