Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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