The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
i was born a porn star she said
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Randomize