dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
