shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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