drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
