i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
