i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
