FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I feel like a drive thru vagina
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
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