this beer tastes like vomit already
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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