The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
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