One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
