I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
