possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
