I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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