i would punch a child for taco bell
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
40s are totally the cure
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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