Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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