You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
