the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
