lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
