You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
