he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
