Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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