just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize
