We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize