My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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