Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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