just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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