Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
