She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
