I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
