Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
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